Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
