But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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