i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
