Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
