Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
