did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
