Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
