You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
