I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
