Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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