I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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