OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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