You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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