i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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