My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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