No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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