No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just had sex bonerless
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
