k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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