3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you had me at cake vodka
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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