I wish I only lived at night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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