It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
