I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize