your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
