I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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