So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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