so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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