2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
