That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
