I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
