I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize