He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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