I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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