Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
