remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
