White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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