He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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