Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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