Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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