I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
