i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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