You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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