Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We have so much sex to catch up on
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
