On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
