guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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