On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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