As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
