there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize