Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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