Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
