he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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