Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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