I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
