Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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