the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
