your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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