Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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