It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
